It’s Not Mean To Get a ‘Prenup’
I hate that popular culture has made it seem like the only people who ask for prenups (“prenuptial agreements,” or “marriage contracts” in Canada) are wealthy, untrusting men. I always think of George’s plot in Seinfeld, trying to get Susan to break up with him by asking for one, or Charlotte’s agreement with Trey in Sex and the City, which bizarrely rewarded her for every son she had. These storylines feed the idea that planning for what happens if you divorce means you don’t believe in your relationship.
On the flip side, as someone who works in family law, I find it frustrating that so many people only learn about the legal consequences of marriage after a separation.
The unromantic truth is this: the moment you live with your partner, there are laws governing your relationship. Once you marry, those laws change.
It’s entirely possible that you’re comfortable with how the law handles a separation. Or you might think those laws are unjust. The key is to know what is changing. A “marriage contract” isn’t a sign of mistrust; it’s a tool to make informed, deliberate choices about your future together.
Rosie Gibbons
